When my sister’s boyfriend, Nobu, learned that I got a tutoring job after failing the waitress and sweetshop sales jobs, he said to my sister that I couldn’t hold the service jobs because I lacked humility. He claimed I did tutoring because it placed me higher than others, but the world was harsh in reality, and I would have to do things I didn’t want to do or sometimes grovel to people in power, and I wouldn’t survive in the society without learning humility now.
Nobu was shameless to criticize me while driving an Audi he couldn’t afford the parking space for, but I think of why he held such a vitriolic opinion about my choice of my job. I do not believe he genuinely hoped I’d learn what was important in life from service jobs. I think he had felt emasculated that my sister had to support him financially, but he tried to retain his power over her with the promise of marriage once he opened his own bar. But the only way he could put me in a woman’s place was by wrongly criticizing me for giving up service jobs that he himself was in.
He must have expected my sister to agree with him, but it backfired, instead. My sister responded, “She wouldn’t want to be preached about humility from someone who financially depends on his girlfriend.” She told me the story later when we were alone. I couldn’t be prouder of my sister.