Conjugal protocol

By littlesweetfish No comments

My sister once said to me upsettingly, “You despise the marriage system,” when I showed indifference to her upcoming matrimony. She was wrong. I scorned “people” who blindly pursued conjugal protocols as an achievement of happiness. 

I detested everything that surrounded marriage. 

  • Proposals that are almost always from a man to a woman
  • Weddings that appropriated other cultures or religions
  • The implication of a father giving his daughter to another man like a transfer of property
  • Remote relatives who get drunk and dance/sing karaoke
  • Speeches from friends/teachers/family members that are the most flattering things anyone ever said to the bride/groom
  • Photo-biography of the bride and groom that have no artistic value
  • Dramatically staged photos of the bride and groom that have no artistic value
  • Honeymoon in a luxurious resort of a developing country
  • Changing the surname to the husband’s surname
  • A husband who “helps” domestic works
  • Pregnancy which pains and discomfort no one talks about
  • Maternity clothes that prohibit pregnant women from having a vanity
  • Episiotomy that no one talks about
  • A cesarean section that scars for life and itches for a long time
  • A husband who “helps” raising a baby
  • Parents who think their kids are genius
  • In-laws
  • Suburbs with no style
  • Driving a wagon to a shopping mall with kids
  • Gender-specific toys/clothes/TV shows
  • Disneyland

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